On Adderall

(I allow that, for people with severe psychological disabilities, adderall is an appropriate treatment. I’m not talking to these people.)

In life, it’s best to do whatever one wants. You’re unlikely to excel in anything perfunctory or boring. Adderall, however, allows us to ignore our preferences to achieve the mundane. You hate your job waiting tables, so you take adderall for motivation. You’re reuniting with some friends, so you take adderall to stay sharp. Your life has become a vacuum of joyless routine, so you take adderall.

Adderall users are united by insecurity — the idea that not only should they be doing something better with their time, they should desire to do something better with their time. And one pill ensures 4 to 8 hours of that counterfeit fulfillment-laden productivity. Never mind the documented neurotoxic and cardiotoxic effects; it’s all in the name of self-actualization, right? We’ve got be successful at whatever we do, whatever the cost.

Though, have you ever asked yourself why you should to be successful? If you must take adderall to produce enthusiasm, you don’t really want it — success is only begotten by organically sustained desire. Even the C.E.O who reluctantly punches his 4AM alarm desires to get up. His hatred of morning is dispelled by his love of work. He doesn’t need speed because his job fulfills him. But so-called American exceptionalism has instilled everyone with entitlement that masquerades as ambition. We all should be CEO’s, and if winning that rat race means sacrificing your enjoyment of food, sleep, or company, well, gotta keep up the inflated self-image, right?

Good news: If you take adderall to do something, you shouldn’t be doing it. “But it keeps the boss happy!” Get fired. Fuck your boss. Taking drugs to support someone else’s vision isn’t worth it. Another excuse: “I’ve been on adderall the past 4 days and life’s going great! I feel like this is the the real me! No, you feel like what you are achieving matches what you feel you deserve. The “real you” doesn’t teeth-grindingly microedit pie charts until dawn and cap with an hour-long masturbation session. The real you procrastinates and plays The Elder Scrolls in his underwear. Your problem is that you’ve been led to believe (by your wife, parents, or whoever) that there’s something wrong with that. There isn’t.

My advice sounds impractical. I assure you that building a life with speed is more so. Somewhere along the line, you will need to raise your dose, probably more than once, and its efficacy will decrease, leaving you with diminishing benefits and growing side effects. You will grow more intense, restless, and impatient. People don’t understand that adderall sacrifices intensity for scope. You’ll probably be better at Quickbooks, but you’ll get worse at everything else. Your sleep will be affected, worsening your memory and emotional control. This enhanced productivity isn’t free; in fact, it will cost everything you have.

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